PCWN – 040 – Emotional Intelligence – 6 ways to lead as an emotionally intelligent leader

[00:00:00] Julie South: [00:00:00] welcome to episode 40 of Paws, Claws and Wet Noses . The veterinary podcast, celebrating all creatures great and small, and the fantabulous professionals who look after them all. I am your show. Host, Julie South. . This is the second show of two looking at emotional intelligence. What it is. And how it’s important to your personal and professional success and mine, of course, as well.

[00:00:41] If you haven’t looked at last week’s show yet episode 39, I urge you to do that because it will help give you some context for today’s show today, we’re going to be looking at strategies to help and support you and your team [00:01:00] become more emotionally intelligent.

[00:01:05] Bryan Gregor: [00:01:05] All vet told my father when he was a student in Glasgow.

[00:01:08] He said, if you want to be a success in veterinary practice, just keep the bowels open and just arrested. God. Nutrition is not an opinion. It’s a science. They called me that weird herbal needle. That, and I, I just remember thinking. Well, I’m still gonna do it cause I know it works and I’ve got the research to back it from reminiscences of the real James Harriet son to P nutrition to acupuncture the vet podcast, discusses current animal health issues from around the world on veterinarian, Brian greeter from New Zealand, just search for the vet podcast, wherever you get your podcasts from

[00:01:48] Julie South: [00:01:48] Paws Claws and Wet Noses is  sponsored by vet staff. If you’ve never heard of VetStaff it’s New , Zealand’s only full service recruitment agency. [00:02:00] 100% dedicated to the veterinary sector VetStaff has been around since 2015 and works nationwide from Cape Reinga to the Bluff  and everywhere in between as well as helping Kiwis VetStaff also helps  overseas, qualified veterinarians find work and Aoetearoa New Zealand vet staff.co dot. NZ. I want to start by sharing part of  a presentation by Daniel Goleman, and he’s the best selling author of many books, but this one in particular emotional intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ.

[00:02:39] Now, even though the book was published back in 1995, it’s still relevant today and emotional intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ. He posits that emotional intelligence is as important as IQ. Intellectual intelligence, intellectual intelligence quotient for [00:03:00] success, including academic professional, social and interpersonal aspects of one’s life.

[00:03:07] Goleman made this presentation. The one that we’re going to be listening to now in Australia, back in 2017 at the world of business ideas. I’ll put the whole presentation up on the episode. Page of Paws Claws Wet Noses . .fm , episode 40 for you to watch the whole lot, if you are interested. But right now we’re going to be hopping on here at about the five minute 30 mark

[00:03:33] Daniel Goleman: [00:03:33] I met recently, uh, uh, the CEO of BlackRock BlackRock is the world’s largest.

[00:03:40] Uh, investment company, it manages trillions of dollars and he, he was puzzled. He said, can you explain why is that? I hire the best and the brightest from the very best schools or companies. I still have a bell curve for performance. What’s going on here. And I like to share with [00:04:00] you the answer I gave him.

[00:04:01] It has to do with some research I did after I wrote emotional intelligence. Got very interested in business and remembered that my mentor at back in graduate school had written an article in the main psychology journal. That was my field. That was very controversial at the time. He said, if you want to hire someone.

[00:04:23] Don’t look at their IQ. Don’t look at their personality tests. Don’t really look at their business expertise. What you want to do is look in your own company at people who hold that position now, or have held it in the past, identify by whatever metric makes sense for that position. The top 10% the stars, and compare the stars with people in the same position who are only average in performance.

[00:04:50] Do a systematic analysis. And identify the skills or abilities or competencies you see in the stars that you don’t see in the average it’s called competence modeling. [00:05:00] Anybody familiar with competence modeling. Most world-class companies have competence models, particularly for top level executives. And I was able to get access to one to 200 of these, which was not easy because these are proprietary.

[00:05:16] Companies don’t share the data. They want to know they’re doing it for competitive reasons, but here’s what I found. I aggregated the data and I just looked at this a very back of the envelope. How many of those abilities, the companies themselves independently have identified as distinguishing their stars?

[00:05:37] How many of those abilities are based on cognitive strengths, IQ and technical? Or emotional intelligence, how we handle ourselves in our relationships. And what I found was that for jobs of all kinds, emotional intelligence is about twice as important. And it’s twice as important in distinguishing that group, that [00:06:00] blue line at the bottom is what you learned in school.

[00:06:06] Go skills. It’s what everyone else has. Those are threshold competencies, what you need. To get the job, but they don’t tell you how you’ll do once you’re in the job. Would you be a star performer? Will we be a great team member? Will you become a leader? The higher you go in the organization? The more emotional intelligence matters.

[00:06:29] So for top level jobs, C suite jobs, for example, 80 to 90% of the competencies that companies themselves identify as distinguishing stars here are based on emotional intelligence. It makes sense because what you’re doing at that point is not using your technical skills or whatever you’ve learned for that position in terms of cognitive abilities, what you’re doing mostly as managing people, the art of leadership is getting work [00:07:00] done well through other people.

[00:07:02] So there was just a study done of engineers. And what distinguished the best engineers from average engineers and turns out success as judged by their peers. People who know the job well, and the person well correlates zero with IQ. And enormously with emotional intelligence. Why would that be it’s because there’s a floor effect to be an engineer, to be an MBA, to be a professional of any kind.

[00:07:39] You need an IQ about a standard deviation above the norm, above a hundred, you need to be 115 or better. The floor effect is once you are in that role, everyone else. Is as smart as you are. So IQ drops away as a predictor of success. Emotional intelligence remains this one [00:08:00] ability here in the top level jobs that’s based on cognitive abilities is.

[00:08:07] It’s big picture thinking, pattern recognition, understanding how a change here in a complex system is going to ramify over there. How a decision made today will matter in five years or 10 years. This allows you to identify your strategy, but once you have your strategy, You can only get there through your people.

[00:08:31] You have to do what you have to communicate persuade, listen, dialogue, inspire, motivate, and all of those are emotional intelligence skills.

[00:08:45] Julie South: [00:08:45] What did you pick up out of there? My takeaways were the, well, a number of them, the floor effect, and he referenced debt and terms of engineers. But when you think about it, veterinarians and [00:09:00] veterinary nurses have a minimum standard to reach they’ve.

[00:09:04] They’ve got the qualification. So therefore veterinarians. At your place have similar IQs. Gets those that are more successful as their emotional intelligence. So they’re better leaders at your clinic will have greater emotional or more well-developed emotional intelligence, then those who don’t. The other thing that I.

[00:09:31] Wanted to, to perhaps bring your attention to was the art of leadership as getting work done well by other people. And you’ll notice that in your clinic and around you, the best team leaders, the best people who, who rally everyone around them are those who know how to relate to others. So that’s from, I’ll put the full video of that.

[00:09:57] Like I said, at that point we stepped in at about the [00:10:00] five minutes 30 mark, but the full video will be up on episode 40. Pause clause, witnesses dot F M. Now what I’d like to do is look. Six ways you can lead as an emotionally intelligent person. And this is according to Linda Rainier, who as a career coach and the U S

[00:10:23] Linda Raynier: [00:10:23] it’s number one, learn more about the inner workings of you.

[00:10:27] Think of yourself as someone who wants to be a really good car mechanic, and you want to be able to attract as many customers to your shop as Paul. If you want to be a really good car mechanic, you need to be able to prove that you understand the inner workings of a car because you want to be well relied upon and well-trusted with anyone’s car.

[00:10:47] You have to be able to understand how does a car function, what are its reactions? What are the issues that can come up? What can cause it to go bad or shut down? You have to [00:11:00] really be able to understand the inner workings of a car. Well in the corporate world. You are the car and the mechanic at the same time, if you really want to be seen as someone who’s truly leadership, potential, someone that can climb to the senior ranks in your organization or any other organization, you have to understand the inner workings of yourself.

[00:11:19] You have to be able to acknowledge your own. Feelings and emotions and the way you tend to react and be able to have that level of self-awareness that’s much deeper than just the very surface level understanding of yourself who are leaders are ones that do not have the ability to understand another animal.

[00:11:38] And you probably have experienced interacting with one, someone that just only sees his or her way and does not take into account anyone else’s because simply they just don’t get it. You don’t want to be that kind of leader. You want to be someone who can understand yourself, which is the most important thing, but because you understand yourself, you’ll be able to understand others.

[00:12:00] [00:12:00] So the best and easiest way for you to get started in terms of understanding the inner workings of you is to start to catch yourself in the moment and be very vigilant about this. Be very attentive when it comes to understanding the reactions that you tend to have in any situation. So the next time something happens at work where potentially it’s an upsetting situation.

[00:12:20] See how you react, observe how you react. Are you someone who tends to react very quickly and you become very sharp with your words you’re super direct or are you someone that closes up and you’re afraid to offend anyone? So you don’t say anything. Take note of it and start to understand where you need to improve so that you can really develop that leadership potential within yourself.

[00:12:44] Tip number two, to improving your emotional intelligence is to get a real assessment of yourself. Get outside. When it comes to understanding yourself, sometimes it’s actually impossible to be able to look at yourself entirely [00:13:00] objectively, which is why it’s important that you start to get input from those around you.

[00:13:05] Now, you’re not going to ask for everyone’s input on how they think, what they think about you, but I would say definitely talk to those closest to you. The ones that you can trust, we’ll be honest with you and a really good exercise that I’ve asked my clients to do. Um, in recent years has been. Go to 2, 3, 4, 5 close friends, family members, um, colleagues who you trust and have them for literally five minutes straight.

[00:13:37] Say everything that they can about you, whatever it is, and you can’t filter them out. So if they’re describing you, they say you tend to do this, or you’re, you know, in times you do this and they’re not being critical, by the way, they can’t be super critical, but they do have to be honest with how they feel, take it.

[00:13:55] And you know, you have to have a little bit of a, um, tough stomach for this because [00:14:00] the truth is something. The truth hurts and you have to be willing to hear what they’re going to say, but you have to write it all down. And then from there, start to notice the patterns amongst the other reports that you end up getting, um, through this process.

[00:14:15] And from there, analyze and see what are the patterns, what are, what are most people saying? Where can I improve on what did I not like when I heard them say that about me and understand. Why is it that you come across that way? Why is it that that happens to you or that you react that way? And from there, you’ll be able to get a deeper understanding of yourself.

[00:14:34] Again, it’s all about understand your inner workings, which is goes back to tip number one. So if you can do that, that’s really gonna help. Tip number three is to journal and track. So this is a very personal exercise, but a really good way to truly see how you are and who you are and how you come across is by keeping a journal, keeping a diary where every day you would write down the major events [00:15:00] that happened, how you reacted in those events.

[00:15:04] Um, handled them and then leaving it at that. And occasionally, you know, perhaps at the end of every week, you’re going to want to go through that week’s list and you start to notice what trends tend to come up, what situations spark you to feel a certain way and react a certain way and do a certain thing.

[00:15:21] And start to understand that about yourself. Because the more you can understand yourself, if there’s things that you want to improve, you’ll be able to improve on them. You realize. Identify them directly, as opposed to guessing. And then if there are things that you’re happy with in terms of how you are, um, how you’re reacting and how you express yourself, great.

[00:15:42] Pat yourself on the back and keep on going tip number four is to listen. So as much as we’ve been doing work on ourselves so far in the first few tips, another tip that’s going to help you when it comes to interacting with others. To not judge, to just simply listen. When [00:16:00] someone is coming to you and telling you something, a story, a situation don’t dive in with your own thoughts and judgements and preconceptions about how they’re experiencing it.

[00:16:10] Instead, let them tell you without interruptions what it is that they’re going through. And the more you can do that and truly listen to someone, the more you can actually understand where they’re coming from, why they’re feeling the way they’re feeling. You’ll be able to understand that individually.

[00:16:25] Much better in a more clearer way, because you’ll be able to understand why they’re saying what they’re saying, what thoughts got them to lead them to say what they’re saying right now to you and why they’re in the mindset that they’re in so that when they ask you for advice, you’ll be able to give authentic, genuine.

[00:16:44] Words of wisdom to them that is without your own judgment, without your own opinions in it, it’s really going to be truly helpful advice for them because they’re going to hear it. And they’re going to recognize that it’s not coming from your own thoughts necessarily. It’s coming from a deeper place.

[00:17:00] [00:16:59] It’s coming from a place of you understanding. Tip number five is about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. You want to be able to exactly understand where they’re coming from, why they’re saying what they’re saying, where those thoughts came from. And, you know, I know this can be difficult to sometimes put yourself in the other person’s shoes because you only see your perspective, but the more that you’re able to just sit back.

[00:17:25] And actually envision yourself in their situation and seeing the world through their eyes. And you have the ability to do this. If you just practice seeing the world through their eyes, you’re going to gain a whole level of understanding that you didn’t realize you had within you. And with that understanding again, you’re going to be able to guide them, help them, move them along to get out of their situation, their struggle that they’re dealing with.

[00:17:50] Smoother way. And you’re going to eventually, as you do that over time, you’re going to be seen as someone who is truly leadership potential because you’re helping people. You’re helping [00:18:00] people move on. If even if it’s something as simple as a task at work that they’re struggling with, and they’re just really upset or.

[00:18:07] Whatever it is, you know, you going over being able to understand where they’re from, where they’re coming from and be able to tap into that and tell them, um, what they can do about it based on how they’re feeling, acknowledging what they’re feeling doing that is all going to lead you into becoming a true.

[00:18:25] So definitely try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. And lastly, tip number six is to open yourself up. I know when it comes to work, it, especially in a company, you know, you don’t really want to bring your personal life into work. You want to keep things professional, but sometimes in order to really develop strong relationships and bonds with people, you do have to open yourself up.

[00:18:47] Actually it is necessary to open yourself up. It’s not just sometimes because the more that you can connect with others. Say yes, actually, I’ve dealt with this situation too, and this is how I handled it and being [00:19:00] able to get to interact with them at that level, the more that you’re going to be trusted by others, the more that they’re going to see the human side of you.

[00:19:08] And that’s going to allow you to be able to, like I said, develop a strong relationship with that person, with those around you. And from there being able to develop a reputation and credibility as someone who has the ability to. Interact with others. Well, and of course, to influence and guide and lead others as a potential director or C-suite executive.

[00:19:29] So there you go. There are my six tips on how you can develop emotional intelligence in leadership so that you can lend yourself a position in senior management later.

[00:19:39] Julie South: [00:19:39] I hope you enjoyed it. You can watch the, her full video pause clause with noses dot F M episode 40. I remember she talked to number two was getting honest and objective assessment of you.

[00:19:53] I remember back in the day, I hadn’t been working very long and I was working with, I thought a couple of crabby or [00:20:00] women who were at war wasn’t pleasant, working with them. And it was one Friday night. I was leaving. One of them was in the office and I went up to this woman and I asked her what I had done.

[00:20:15] That was so upsetting to her that she treated me the way she treated me and she turned around and just went all over me. She gave me, she had both barrels loaded and she just shot me down. And I thought, wow, that she told me I was stuck up. I was standoffish. I was arrogant. I was rude. I was this. I was that.

[00:20:44] And. Oh, I was just shocked and I, cause I didn’t think I was like that at all. And I explained to her that I was really shy and because I am, believe it or not. And I apologize to her for coming across that [00:21:00] way because of my show. That was on the Friday afternoon on Monday, everything had changed and it was a whole different atmosphere.

[00:21:11] And it was just before, because I’d been, I guess, a bit open with her. And I got an honest and objective assessment of how they thought I was, but it made a difference. So please, if you’re, you know, if you are wondering, how are the people. Think I do suggest that you do go with somebody that you trust and who will be gentle with you.

[00:21:33] This woman was not anyway. Let’s look at the, her list. The other thing that I, I know that I personally struggle with right now is number four on her list, which is listening now. I don’t think it’s so much that I don’t listen. I just think that I get so excited about what the other person is saying that I want to contribute.

[00:21:55] Um, to the conversation, which means that sometimes I end up over talking [00:22:00] people, which is, I really am working hard on that for me to just sit and nod at somebody. I feel like I’m not listening because I’m being mute. Or I feel like I look like I’m not listening because I’m being mute. So I’m working on number four.

[00:22:15] As I said, I’ll put the full episode up on the show notes, page and summary Linda’s top tips. Way that or six ways that you can lead with by being emotional intimacy. Number one was learn more about the inner workings of you get an honest and objective assessment of you from people who, who you trust.

[00:22:39] And I’d like to add who will be gentle with you, who will tell you how you are not, how you, how you think they want you to tell. Them to tell you, number three, journal and track that’s discovering cause and effect and reflecting back on your day. Number four, lesson number five, put [00:23:00] yourself in the other person’s shoes.

[00:23:01] And number six, open yourself up. I have actually started practicing, opening myself up a little bit more publicly out there online. And then what I’ve done is if you are on LinkedIn, please connect with me. I have started. A bit of an attitude of gratitude journal at the end of each week. And I’m sharing things that kind of make me smile on the inside.

[00:23:27] It’s a bit about my week where I’m looking. Hard sometimes for, for good things for an attitude of gratitude. So I’d love to connect with you at LinkedIn as always. I hope you found this episode helpful. If you did, please let me know if you didn’t, please. Also let me know, because I don’t know what I don’t know.

[00:23:50] Please let me know what you’d like to do. If you haven’t yet clicked that follow button where you listen to your podcasts, please do. So. It [00:24:00] means that you’ll never miss out on episodes of all your favorite podcasts, because they’re automatically. Into your podcast feed it. Doesn’t cost you a cent to click follow it’s 100% free and available wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts, all of the big platforms, habit, click follow.

[00:24:23] If you’d like to look at raising your own personal EEQ level, then please get in touch with me privately. And we can have a chat about that, Julie, at. Dot co dot INSEAD that will come under the heading of career progression. Thank you for spending the last half an hour, 25 minutes or so of your life with me.

[00:24:48] I really do appreciate. As always, if you have any topics that you’d especially like me to cover, then please let me know if you’ve met someone really [00:25:00] interesting that you’d love me to interview again, please let me know. I look forward to hearing from you, Judy, at fit staff.co dot INSEAD. Here’s to wishing you.

[00:25:13] And your team and absolutely fantabulous week caca, UNO, and God bless. Paws claws and wet noses. It’s sponsored by vet staff. If you’ve never heard of it, staff it’s new, Zealand’s only full service recruitment agency. 100% dedicated to the veterinary sector and Fitz staff has been around since 2015 and works nationwide from Kate Wrangler to the bluff and everywhere in between as well as helping Kiwis fits.

[00:25:46] Also hubs overseas, qualified veterinarians find work and art hero and New Zealand fit. staff.co dot. Indeed. [00:26:00] .

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